Mama Told Me Not To Come

I have a pre-existing condition. I dislike flying in general, and United Airlines (Stroopwaffles notwithstanding) in particular– see 2016:

After 2 (two, T-W-O, more than 1) 3-hour layovers (love you, IAH for your work friendly gates; DEN, you and your Broncos can get bucked) culminating in a thrilling attempted mass murder landing in 60 knot winds, we diverted to Fresno.

Where I waited an hour and a half not to get my luggage before booking a hotel that looked close to the airport. The immigrant Lyft driver had been in the country for 8 weeks and when his 2nd question was about my marital status, I assumed that I had escaped a fiery death only to die at the hands of human traffickers.

(Spoiler alert: I survive the ride without incident).

Because booking rooms at midnight is tricksy, I booked a non-cancellable, non-refundable room for the following night AND the hotel is FULL for this night.

I only imagined getting womannapped. The rest of this tale is the unvarnished truth.

But the woman at the counter saw the crazy coming to the surface took pity on me and let me have a room. And a beer becauae my melatonin was locked up at the UA counter.

And I got 4 semi-glorious hours of sleep before I got up at 4 am to get to the airport 2 hours before my 7 am flight. Whereupon I got to the airport to find no flights to MRY from Fresno at 7 am.

Why in the name of all that is now and ever shall be did I bother giving these people my name, phone number, email, and blood type if they can’t send me an alert or notice or something? #technologyfail

If you ever need reminding of how little control we have over our lives, come travel with me.

Fair warning:

About Laura Alford, PhD

I'm a recent graduate of LSU (PhD in Accounting). In addition to academic research, I also write fiction on Tuesday nights with the Asilomar Writers.
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1 Response to Mama Told Me Not To Come

  1. swanstromm says:

    That’s just freaking torture

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