Minor Epiphany at Albertson’s

I usually have my best ideas when I am driving, which is pretty inconvenient for recording my latest and greatest thoughts. Luckily, my husband still answers the phone when I call, will hash through my hare-brained schemes with me, and email me the edited version (all for the low, low price of half my retirement. HALF, Eddie!).


INSIGHT # 76: Husbands are handy.

But today I had a flash of insight while unloading pre-prepped salads, disgusting, gross healthy Greek yogurt, and free-range Al-fresco eggs onto the conveyor belt. A magazine cover in the grocery store checkout lane proclaimed that Oprah’s lost another small person 42 lbs.


I can relate.

Oprah (and I) have gained and lost the same 30-40-50 pounds many times. But unlike me, O has enough money to hire a personal chef, trainer, grocery shopper, maid, therapist, hypnotist, anti-depressants, stimulants, appetite suppressants, stomach surgery, etc… and she STILL can’t lose weight and keep it off.

Let me repeat. Oprah has all the help in the world, every advantage known to womankind, and she still has a weight problem. Maybe I should cut myself some slack (my pants damn sure won’t).


10 days after the Epiphany, that’s my epiphany. Be kind to others. Be kind to self. Be. Kind.

About Laura Alford, PhD

I'm a recent graduate of LSU (PhD in Accounting). In addition to academic research, I also write fiction on Tuesday nights with the Asilomar Writers.
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