Exponential Decay

Went to lunch with this youngster today. He was unaware that you could start suffering from sleep injuries* as early as the mid-thirties.

  • A sleep injury occurs when you go to bed at the regular time, sleep the same number of hours, in the same bed, under the same conditions (usually a child lying perpendicular to you with a foot in a kidney) as the average night of the previous 12,775 nights of your life, yet you wake up with something malfunctioning, hurting, or sore. Similar to sleep injuries are “sneeze,” “just walking up/down the stairs,” just breathing in/out type not playing basketball at the gym/water skiing for the first time in a decade type injuries.

I coulda had a V-8, but I went back to graduate school. Doh!

(Almost) Dr. Laura had no good news for him. Aging is an exponential decay model. He’s had econometrics, so he took it … about like I expected.


I’m shooting for the green line. It’s way too easy to end up on the blue line if you give up or give in.

I cautioned him that post 45 was worse and he looked at me funny, which I assume was an expression of shock and awe when he found out how old I really am.

“What??” I said. “Getting old ain’t as easy as I make it look.”


Ben, Wes, Me, & JC. Relative ages to me (-13), (-15), (-2), & (-19). keeping up with these kids…

The appreciative laugh was almost worth revealing my true age. Almost.



About Laura Alford, PhD

I'm a recent graduate of LSU (PhD in Accounting). In addition to academic research, I also write fiction on Tuesday nights with the Asilomar Writers.
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