Tales from the Bull-Pen

Nothing as salacious as what goes on in the locker room or the Oval Office, but let’s face it, all my PhD peeps are too busy for that sort of romantic interlude. We’re out searching for the elusive inverse Hessian co-variance matrix, which sounds really kinky, but in reality is more  Sir Isaac Newton than Sir Freak-a-Lot aka Christian Gray.


I’d rather a public flogging… well, maybe not so very public. 

We’re also busy with our existential crises as we search for meaning within our lives. This is an honest-to-goodness test I received from a colleague this week. And my reply.


Nobody that really knows me is surprised by my statement that I’m going to bed at 8. They’re shocked to find out I’m up till 10 most nights. But the biggest shocker is that I’ve given up grits and chocolate milk for breakfast. I don’t even recognize myself most days.


I love SnapChat.

Mid-breakdown, mid-week another resident of Cubeville revealed a moment that set the bar even lower. After a week of low-calorie, clean eaating, he ACCIDENTALLY wound up with a 6-pack of his favorite beer IN HIS BELLY and followed that with a chaser… all SIX frozen LeanCuisine entrees in the freezer. A whole meat-lovers pizza or a pint of ice cream– that I could respect.


As God is my witness, I will never binge on frozen diet meals again. (My apologies if my usage of this image is culturally insensitive. But, seriously, gtf over yourself and get off my blog.)

It’s Friday night and my laundry’s all did, so who’s pitiful now, huh? Not me. I’m prepared for midterm madness. Bring it on, witches. Bring it on.

About Laura Alford, PhD

I'm a recent graduate of LSU (PhD in Accounting). In addition to academic research, I also write fiction on Tuesday nights with the Asilomar Writers.
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