The Worst Book in the World

Earlier today, I’d pretty much convinced myself that I’m writing the worst book in the world. However, my writer friend Trish called and confessed that I couldn’t possibly be writing the worst book in the worldSHE IS!

I told Mark about her one downsmanship and he said NO WAY! He’s writing the worst book in the world.

Bunch of damn Toppers.  Can’t let me be superlative for just one day.

* * *

It’s been the nicest summer. Got me thinking about lightning bugs. (Fireflies to Yankees.)

Lightning Bug

Lightning Bug

And watermelon. Specifically Jack Carter watermelons. First ones got ripe around the 4th of July. Seems like he’d grow a Jubilee (dark green) and a Sweet Queen or maybe a Princess.  It was light green and some kind of good.

This is almost exactly what the back of my uncle Jack's truck looked like in the summer.

This is almost exactly what the back of my uncle Jack’s truck looked like in the summer.

Of course his special hybrid peach tree ruined me for peaches. Nothing has ever tasted as good as a ripe peach, dripping with juice in my Aunt Bev’s kitchen. NOTHING.

It almost makes me wish I’d never had one. (Kind of like eating pineapple in Honduras. It spoils you. Grocery store produce pales in comparison and you wind up with a preference for Sour Patch Gummy Worms.)

Thinking about summer means thinking about my memories of Carter Hill. It means thinking about screen doors and homemade ice cream and precious people.

Shel Silverstein said it best in this poem:

how many, how much
How many slams in an old screen door?
Depends how loud you shut it.
How many slices in a bread?
Depends how thin you cut it.
How much good inside a day?
Depends how good you live ’em.
How much love inside a friend?
Depends how much you give ’em

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About oldhwysixwest

I'm currently pursuing a PhD in accounting at LSU. I also write fiction when I can (usually 4 am).
This entry was posted in Authors, family, Louisiana, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to The Worst Book in the World

  1. Susan Sands says:

    No, I am. And I do remember your Uncle Jack’s watermelons in summertime! Nothing better in the world. See you Tuesday!

  2. Janna Qualman says:

    I’ve popped over from Women Unplugged…

    I love Shel! And I’ve written the worst book ever, too, so there. 🙂

  3. Delphia says:

    When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now
    each time a comment is added I get three emails with the same comment.
    Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Appreciate it!

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