Intellectual Exercises

We stayed up late watching the Zombie King’s team beat the Michigan Men.

I want the name of his plastic surgeon so that if I get rich I can make sure I don't use him/her.

I want the name of his plastic surgeon so that if I get rich I can make sure I don’t use him/her.

Staying up late makes me a little goofy. And now I know that it makes Mark even goofier.  We were playing a variation of the “what if I won the lottery” game, and it goes a little like this:

MAS: What would you do if somebody paid you $50 millon for your books?

LCA: Do I get it all at once?

MAS: Sure. All at once.

LCA: Why? Did I have a big day on Amazon?

MAS: No, you sold all the rights for your work. Present and future.

LCA: Why would I do that?

MAS: For $50 million. Duh.

LCA: That doesn’t make sense. Who would pay me not to work?

MAS: Maybe JK couldn’t stand the competition, so she decided to pay you not to write.

LCA: Pfft.  That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard.  Maybe if the Illuminati made me an offer I couldn’t refuse…. That makes WAY more sense.

The Illuminati

The Illuminati

MAS: Ok. The Illuminati buys your silence. And you have $50 million with no restrictions. Kids are gone, I’m gone. What will you do?

LCA: Is this before or after taxes?

MAS: AFTER. (He’s exasperated by my apparent unwillingness to suspend reality.)

LCA: Where did you go? Are you dead? Do you get half the money or is the $50 million what I’ve got after you’ve left? Are you leaving me?

MAS: I’m not leaving you.

LCA: Is the only reason you’re not leaving because you think I’m gonna strike it rich and you want your half?

Eddie Murphy-- HALF!!

Eddie Murphy– HALF!!

MAS: (long pause. several sighs.) That’s not the ONLY reason.


Enjoy Carly Simon and ANTICIPATION:

About Laura Alford, PhD

I'm a recent graduate of LSU (PhD in Accounting). In addition to academic research, I also write fiction on Tuesday nights with the Asilomar Writers.
This entry was posted in Basketball, End of the World, family, Sports, urban legend, Writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Intellectual Exercises

  1. Susan Sands says:

    You both scare me in the ways your minds work. Use these frighteningly odd cerebral powers for good. Please.

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