Instead of working on my bestselling novel(s), I’m blogging about makeup. I’ve taken the art of procrastination to a new level–stratospheric.
During my teen years, when most young women are fascinated with blush and mascara, I was more into practicing my free throws and jump shots. Being a practical sort of girl, it never made much sense to put a bunch of goop on my face that I was gonna sweat off the second I stepped outside on my way to the gym.
Not to mention that I didn’t know much about the application process. If I used anything other than brown eyeshadow, I felt like a kid who’s been playing dress up with Barbie makeup. In other words, I was sure I looked like this, right down to the pencilled in eyebrows:
Course, Mimis’ got better hair than me. I’ve got a couple of go-to options– straight or ponytail. My hair doesn’t do curly. Not even with a perm.
In 1997 or so, I bullied my hairdresser friend Rennie into giving me a perm.
Me: I want a perm.
Rennie: No. You have beautiful hair. You don’t want a perm. You CAN’T have one. I won’t do it.
Me: What do you mean I can’t have one? I want one!
Rennie: You’re going to hate it. I gave one to my mom against my will and she hated it. Please don’t make me give you a perm.
Me: But I really want one…. Please.
Rennie: You’re going to hate it.
I hated it.
I’ve come to terms with the straight hair, which brings me to under-eye concealer.
Sometime in the early aughts, a doctor’s office magazine headline caught my eye: TEN MUST HAVES FOR WOMEN OVER 35. I bit, even though I was only 34 and 8/8ths.
Later that day, I dropped by the mall and picked up said required makeup item. Lo and behold, to my surprise, it made a difference. No dark circles. Magic, just like this:
Eager to evangelize my fellow women, I shared my concealer story with my friend Pam, who’s a couple years older than me, over lunch.
ME: I’m so excited. Under-eye concealer really works. I look better.
Pam: I know.
ME: (Moment of betrayed silence.) You knew about this?
Pam: I didn’t tell you about that? I started using it a couple of years ago.
In all fairness, I don’t remember alot from those years, so I had to let her off the hook.
But, the lesson I’ve learned is listen to your friends. Especially if it’s about hair and makeup.