Instead of working on my bestselling novel(s), I’m blogging about makeup. I’ve taken the art of procrastination to a new level–stratospheric.

During my teen years, when most young women are fascinated with blush and mascara, I was more into practicing my free throws and jump shots. Being a practical sort of girl, it never made much sense to put a bunch of goop on my face that I was gonna sweat off the second I stepped outside on my way to the gym.

Not to mention that I didn’t know much about the application process.  If I used anything other than brown eyeshadow, I felt like a kid who’s been playing dress up with Barbie makeup. In other words, I was sure I looked like this, right down to the pencilled in eyebrows:

Mimi, a character on The Drew Carey Show

Mimi, a character on The Drew Carey Show

Course, Mimis’ got better hair than me.  I’ve got a couple of go-to options– straight or ponytail. My hair doesn’t do curly. Not even with a perm.

In 1997 or so, I bullied my hairdresser friend Rennie into giving me a perm.

Me: I want a perm.

Rennie: No. You have beautiful hair. You don’t want a perm. You CAN’T have one. I won’t do it.

Me: What do you mean I can’t have one? I want one!

Rennie: You’re going to hate it. I gave one to my mom against my will and she hated it. Please don’t make me give you a perm.

Me: But I really want one…. Please.

Rennie: You’re going to hate it.

I hated it.

I’ve come to terms with the straight hair, which brings me to under-eye concealer.

Sometime in the early aughts, a doctor’s office magazine headline caught my eye: TEN MUST HAVES FOR WOMEN OVER 35. I bit, even though I was only 34 and 8/8ths.

Later that day, I dropped by the mall and picked up said required makeup item. Lo and behold, to my surprise, it made a difference. No dark circles. Magic, just like this:

Under eye concealer magic

Under eye concealer magic

Eager to evangelize my fellow women, I shared my concealer story with my friend Pam, who’s a couple years older than me, over lunch.

ME: I’m so excited. Under-eye concealer really works. I look better.

Pam: I know.

ME: (Moment of betrayed silence.) You knew about this?

Pam: I didn’t tell you about that? I started using it a couple of years ago.

In all fairness, I don’t remember alot from those years, so I had to let her off the hook.

But, the lesson I’ve learned is listen to your friends. Especially if it’s about hair and makeup.

About Laura Alford, PhD

I'm a recent graduate of LSU (PhD in Accounting). In addition to academic research, I also write fiction on Tuesday nights with the Asilomar Writers.
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15 Responses to Makeup

  1. I need more than under-eye concealer!!

  2. Rennie says:

    Haha you must ALWAYS listen to me !!!! We’ve friends longer than anything else in our lives except being our parent’s kids!!! I remember you figured that out and I listened AND believed!!! btw you are beautiful no matter if you have concealer on or not !!! I love you more than my luggage 🙂

  3. Susan Sands says:

    Rennie was right, you do have beautiful hair. Way better than Mimi’s! Under-eye concealer is the bomb for us aging gals, I must admit. That, and mascara, and eyebrow darkener, and lip goop. Makeup makes me pretty. I even wore it when I shot free throws while I sweated it off. But I do wear less now than when I was young.

  4. Rennie says:

    I can’t see or spell obviously

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