Cultural Literacy

I don’t know about anybody else, but I’m so glad football season is here. I much prefer the trash talking and sports smackdowns to the political scene that was so prevelant over the summer.


We’re so glad football started that we watched a Thursday night game a couple of weeks ago. It was an SEC dual between Vanderbilt (‘Dores) and South Carolina (LameCocks). Because the kids cannot resist a tv that is on, they sat with us to watch a little bit of the game.

Neither of these kids are big sports fans, but they do know the cardinal rule of the game in our house:

Rule #1: SEC > Any other conference, most especially the Big 12 minus-2 pansies. (Mom concedes that some years the Big East has better basketball teams, but is just as frequently overrated.)

Because it is the kids’ belief nobody could watch a game for fun, they figured we had to have a preference in the Vandy vs. SC game. And, we did for two reasons: (1) my brother and sis-in-law graduated from Vandy, but more importantly (2) we hate Steve Spurrier.

Kid: “Who’s Steve Spurrier? And, why do we hate him?”

Us (unified on this issue): “Because he used to coach for the Florida Gators and would run up the score on the other teams.”

Kid: “What’s he supposed to do? Tell the players not to try?”

Us: Long, uncomfortable silence as we ponder the fact our non-competitive child now seemingly grasps the concept of competition. “Well, no, but he could have run the clock out instead of passing.”

Kid: Eye roll . “Whatever. What’s for dinner?”

This is pretty much how it goes in our house. Brilliant flashes of insight followed by food requests.

Kid #1 also made an amazing observation this past week about LSU’s football field. This kid can’t find his size 15 behemoth shoes half the time, but picked out an anomoly on the field that I hadn’t noticed in the last 30 years.

See if you can look at the picture and tell me what it is! 



About Laura Alford, PhD

I'm a recent graduate of LSU (PhD in Accounting). In addition to academic research, I also write fiction on Tuesday nights with the Asilomar Writers.
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6 Responses to Cultural Literacy

  1. Lyle Alford says:

    looks like the brilint chiled is the best one :0

  2. Is that a 5 yard line?? Cheaters!!!!

  3. My smart kid says it’s because LSU Tigers have trouble counting past 5. He’s a Gamecock fan in case you didn’t know. 😉

    • That may be true— I have trouble counting to 4 in zumba class and I’m not wearing a helmet with people trying to kill me.

      It’s probably to help the radio announcers? And we’re not big on change in the bayou. Don’t like it at all.

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