I spent some time this morning enjoying the opportunity to lie on my hammock and listen to the birds, crickets, squirrels, and occasional tree frog. Notice I didn’t say listen to the “dogs.” That’s because Blizzard and the neighborhood hounds were blissfully silent. Even our contrarian cat, Misty, refrained from her normal diatribe on how she only has 18 hours of day to nap because the other 6 are consumed with eating, stretching, and shedding hair on my convertible’s roof.
At least, that’s what I think she’s saying, because I’m pretty sure her alien overlords have sworn her to secrecy on the one topic I am curious about– bilocation. I don’t know about anybody else’s cat, but Misty has the magical ability to be at the front and back doors AT THE SAME TIME. For real and for true.
She casts her baleful eyes upon me during breakfast, weaving spells that prevent my sinuses from unblocking completely. Then, she regally stalks from her throne over to the porch table and hops up to oversee that I load the dishes in the washer correctly. Which I manage to do, despite her utter disdain and complete disbelief.
I grab a soda from the minifridge and can still see her fuzzy, gray body in my periphreal vision, take 8 rapid steps to the stairs, and BY JOVE, that cat is now meowing on the front porch. I can see her throught the beveled glass in the front door. How does she do that? She has powers. Super powers.
So, we went to see the movie, “The Avengers,” and my daughter wanted us to all pick what super powers we’d like to have. I picked the U.S., China, Korea, and Saudi, but evidentially those were the wrong kinds of super powers. I think I went with laser beam eyes, because by then all the good ones were gone.
Then we went to see “Brave,” and saw everybody in town. Of course, I had just come from Zumba class and was all sweaty and stinky; so sorry, everybody. It was an enjoyable movie, but my hairdresser is not going to be pleased, because now I want to grow my hair out another 2 or 3 feet, get a spiral perm and dye it McCrimson red. My new ‘do of long, flowing locks will be so appealing when I am galloping around the Highlands on my favorite Clydesdale.
Or, extra, extra long tresses could come in handy, should I need to escape imprisonment from the tallest room of a remote tower. Although, an isolation booth might be more of a refuge than a punishment. Just saying.