Trending Now – Earthquakes and Gumbo

Earthquakes in Oklahoma… what’s up with that? Weird. In other strange news, I was cold yesterday. It was 73 degrees and I was cold. Write that down: Game of the century, earthquakes in OK, and Laura was cold. I heard a rumor that old people get cold, but I am looking for a more reasonable explanation. The EotW, perhaps?

So, I did what most people do when they are cold and it’s “winter” I made gumbo. Except that instead of doing my usual M. Stewart version where I incubate the eggs to raise the chicken, grind my own sassafras file, and distill the water in hand-blown glass bottles in a solar contraption I built myself, I went all Paula Deen on it it.

It is the best gumbo I have ever made, and I didn’t chop a single onion or make a roux. It must have been magic, because there’s just no ‘splaining it. Kinda like LSU football. Now for the recipe:

Step 1. Go to LSU vs. NSU football game in September and stop at Poche’s in Breaux Bridge on the way home. Eat lunch and buy a bunch of fresh chaurice sausage. Put 3 links in a plastic storage bag by the designer of your choice and freeze.

Step 2: Wake up early one Saturday unable to get back to sleep because the Game of the Century is coming on at 7 pm!! Shiver your way to the freezer and pull out the frozen sausage to defrost. Take #1 son to basketball practice, search WalMart for replacement earphones that kids took to school and failed to return. Work out, and then at 10 am, realize that you are already too tired to cook a gumbo.

Step 3: Put your big girl britches on and go to grocery store anyway. Buy what passes for a plump hen, Richard’s tasso and pork sausage in the meat department. Close your eyes and hold your breath while passing the cookie dough and ice cream sections on the way to get bags of frozen chopped bell peppers, chopped onions and whole mini okras. Pray that you do not crash your buggy into anyone while dashing by the forbidden products.

Step 4: Sharpen the knife. Wonder where everyone went…. Skin chicken, cut up and boil in pot with salt, pepper, and sliced tasso. Brown the chaurice sausage and drain the fat. Eat several pieces of chaurice to ensure that it’s safe for the rest of the family. Think happy thoughts about one of your best friends who introduced you to Poches. You don’t call, because your psychic powers say he is hunting in an area with zero cell phone reception.

Step 5: Lie on the couch and check Facebook on iPhone. Say a quick prayer of thanksgiving that none of your main friends are Alabama fans. Or if they are, they are smart enough to keep that skeleton in the closet. Use feminine wiles to coerce your husband into deboning chicken and dumping out most, but not all of the water in the pot.

Step 6. Add 1 can of chicken stock to pot. Then put the chicken, tasso and chaurice in. Since you inadvertently got “hot” pork sausage, put in fridge, not gumbo. Dump in the frozen onions, peppers, and okra. I used 2 cans of stewed tomatoes and also added about 6 to 8 cups of water.

Step 7: Spices!! Since I didn’t want to make a roux, I added a whole jar (about 4 oz) of file, some sage, oregano, 4 small bay leaves, more salt, more black pepper, and whatever else looked good from my spice drawer (see photo, right).

Step 8: Double check clock. The good news is that it only took an hour and a half to make a mighty rad gumbo. The bad news is that it was still a long way until kick off. And longer still until the game is over.

Magic! I pulled this gumbo out of my hat, just like LSU managed to get a win last night. Congrats to those of you who are running in the NYC marathon. Hooray for everybody!


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About oldhwysixwest

I'm currently pursuing a PhD in accounting at LSU. I also write fiction when I can (usually 4 am).
This entry was posted in cooking, family, football, gumbo, Louisiana, LSU, Sports and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Trending Now – Earthquakes and Gumbo

  1. Susan Sands says:

    Sounds like a “winning” pot of gumbeaux! I’ve found that egg incubation is rarely necessary, nor is a traditional roux. I also made a chicken/sausage easy-way-out gumbo with the “dry” roux yesterday after my time shivering in the cold–and it was in the sixties here, so much more legitimately cold than there. Love ‘dem Tigahs!

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