It’s Sunday morning. Once again we did not win the lottery, and I am a little disappointed. Yesterday, I put JET PACK on my “More $ Than $ense” list. It beat out cabana boy and season tickets to the US Open (Tennis). What can I say? I want to be zoomy!
Right now I am supposed to be working on my best-selling novel, but researching and designing jet packs that I will purchase with my ill-gotten lottery proceeds is way more fun. Plus, the pictures take up a lot of space and make me feel like I’ve actually gotten something done, instead of re-writing the same paragraph 5 times because I can’t figure out how to describe an empty room in active tense. Saying, “The room was empty,” gets you those green underlines. I see those and then I feel like Ralphie in “A Christmas Story.” Ralphie just knows that the “A” on his English paper will finally convince his mom to get him a Red Ryder BB gun; then he gets a “C.” Doom. Gloom.
Green lines make me feel like I just got a “C”. They make me sad. Jet packs and big, funky metal chickens, those make me happy. Even happier than a bowl full of carbohydrates (grits).
Supposedly, NYT bestselling authors don’t write in passive tense and they don’t write prologues, either. I guess that’s why 4/4 books I picked up in the Young Adult section of bestsellers all had PROLOGUES. Every darn one, unless it was not the first book in a series. I guess prologues are SO LAST SEASON? I really don’t care because my book doesn’t have one, but it makes me think that all the other stuff that gets preached at conferences and editor panels may not be the gospel. Wouldn’t that be great if I could say that ‘the room was empty’ without feeling like I have doomed myself to earning hundreds?
Another silly rumor I have heard at conference is that you actually have to FINISH the book before you can sell it! That one
rings true, so I guess I’d better hop to it. Hope everyone has a great week.