FAQ from the Football Gate

My kids go to a private school. That means in addition to monetary support, I also give of my time. For the past several years, my husband and I have worked the gate at high school football games.  Most of the time it’s very enjoyable because we get to see everyone, including friends from visiting teams.

However, there are some things that I would like for people who attend games to know.  I will use the Q&A method to present this information, because I think it will be more helpful.

Q: My parents are coming with the money, can I come in anyway?  A: No, you may not.  Does the theater let you in to see the show without purchasing a ticket? Didn’t think so.

Q: My kids/mother/grandparent/college roomate is/are coming later, can I pay for them now? A: No.  We know many people, but are not omniscient.  We have also consumed too much artificial sweetener in diet drinks and have CRS.  Don’t expect us to remember who has paid and who has not. Wait near the gate until all members of your party have arrived (see above.)

Q: I only want to see my grandchild perform at halftime and don’t really want to watch the game, so do I still have to pay? A: Yes, you must pay the full price for ADMISSION to the event, even if you choose not to enjoy it.  Come late and/or leave early, price to get in is the same.

Q: I just got a big gulp drink/bucket of fried chicken/catfish platter, can I bring it in?  A: No. But, you have a purse on your shoulder than could hold a small dinosaur.  Stick the crap in there before you get to me. The TSA is not running the gate and there will be no strip searches on my watch.

Q: I bought $800 worth of steak supper passes, but left them at my boyfriend’s house, can I come in anyway?  A: No.  Does the grocery store honor coupons you don’t have? Does LSU let you in without a ticket?  Unless I personally sold you the steak supper ticket, I can’t let you in.

My main pet peeve has to do with the people who want to bring their dogs in the stadium.  I don’t make the rules, NSU does. Their rule is no pets allowed.  I don’t care if your dog weighs less than three pounds, has no teeth and has won the last 17 AKC Friendliest Dog in the World Contests, the answer is NO. And you did NOT do it all last season, because I told you no last year, too.

So, please, please, please do not pitch a fit and tell me how ugly I am because your spoiled self heard the word, “No,” and ignored the “I am sorry” part.  Because I AM sorry that food, drinks and dogs are not allowed.  I don’t make the rules, I just try to make sure people follow them.  FYI, the police are on my side, and not just because I bribe them with cookies.

About Laura Alford, PhD

I'm a recent graduate of LSU (PhD in Accounting). In addition to academic research, I also write fiction on Tuesday nights with the Asilomar Writers.
This entry was posted in Dogs, faq, football, pets, Sports, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to FAQ from the Football Gate

  1. Lyle Alford says:

    maby i shoot work at the gate

  2. Susan Sands says:

    There are people everywhere who go through life with this elitist attitude, somehow firmly convinced the rules don’t apply to them, no matter the situation. Watching them get their comeuppance and the subsequent scene that often follows can be priceless. The TSA are the humanizers, no matter what we might say about them.

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