Mean Reversion

There’s this theory called mean reversion and it more or less boils down this: things move to the middle. It’s an old idea– what goes up must come down.

Yesterday LSU fired Les Miles. As much as his rote play-calling frustrated me, I was never sure that we’d be better off without him. (See Tennessee’s record post-Fulmer.)

Under Les, LSU was consistent in its recruiting and in its hunt for another National Championship ring. Only 1 coach in this modern era is more consistent. You know who I’m talking about… his name rhymes with Satan.

I’m gonna miss this.

Am recalling a few lines from  Keb’ Mo’s song  For Better or Worse: 

Even if I took the chance, I’d just be looking for you.Would it be better or worse? Better or Worse? So what do you think that we’re really gonna find?

LSU’s looking for the next Les Miles. But, then again, who isn’t?

Popcorn Chicken

I remember being pleasantly surprised the first time I had WalMart deli chicken strips. They were pretty good. And so is the fried okra, but neither hold a candle to fresh popcorn chicken with some honey mustard dipping sauce.

You might also qualify under an alternative section if you didn’t learn integrals in high school calculus.

My friend Mary Angel always said Louisiana gas stations had better food than most restaurants, and I agree. The Home Run in Marksville gets top marks from me for its boudin. These guys may have a more independent opinion: http://boudinlink.com/

Baby Lyle came home for the extended weekend and (as usual) had the best comment about the LSU game. When one of receivers dropped what looked like an easy catch, I was disgusted and said something like, “our QB can’t throw and the receivers can’t catch.”

Right place, right time, wrong arms…

Lyle’s a veteran listener of our endless complaints about the one-dimensional LSU offense and said, “Well, it’s not like they ever thought they were really ever going to have to do it.”

The kid makes a valid point. Kinda like fire drills, emergency exits, and the Spanish Inquisition– unexpected.

This reminds me of some college football fans.

It’s a nasty rainy day here in Metro BR today. I am not motivated to go to my office and do any of the mountains of studying that is piling up on my desk. Statistics seems easy until the test rolls around. Econometrics seems impossible unless I can download a Nobel prize winning mathematician’s brain vis-a-vis the Matrix.

In the time it took me to redneck engineer this meme, I probably could have created cold fusion or something.

Here’s hoping everybody has a good week.

The Day After

No, I didn’t take a pill in Ibiza. Or drink too much Abita.

My shriveled soul after 2 pages of Audit Quality Literature Review. Only 73 more pages to go.

But the day ain’t over, yet. Not by a long shot.

So this didn’t happen while I waited in line for 30 minutes at the LSU bookstore to spend $300 on 2 used books,  but I totally tried to instigate one:

Football season opener next week. It may be the only game I get to watch in it’s entirety. Mostly because they hold these suckers outside. In Louisiana. Where it’s hotter than Satan’s steam room on the 4th of July.

Its a wet kind of heat. And by wet I mean melted-fat slime puddling in your shoes. That kind of wet.

I really need to stop procrastinating and just get it over with. It’s the only way to get finished.  Yesterday, I basked in the accomplishment of achieving the halfway mark. Today, I face the brutal reality that there are 2 years left of uphill climbing.

Thank you to everybody who has been so supportive of me. I appreciate all the encouragement as I try to remember that it “ain’t about how fast I get there, ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side.”

I do NOT endorse this theme park

I’d rather face a pack of rabid velociraptors then the endure the inefficiencies and indignities of modern air travel.

Now I know that only George W. Bush has a weather machine, so it’s not anybody’s fault we got delayed, but….

if we didn’t have to arrive 2 hours early for our public strip search then it would have significantly shortened the length of time we spent enjoying the hospitality of the airlines.

The worst part of an unexpected overnight in the ATL is the complete lockdown Coca-Cola has on the vendors. No diet Mountain Dew in site.

My summer paper is due today (by 5pm), Baby Lyle’s move in day is Tuesday, and I present this paper Friday.

I have tentatively scheduled a nervous breakfown for Friday afternoon. At a bar. Somewhere in Baton Rouge.

CREDIT: to Lyle for the title and the subsequent 12 second lecture and demonstration on how to save a google image WITHOUT taking a acreenshot.

How One Letter to a Kid at Camp Cost Me $1,000

My favorite sister-in-law over 6’0″ sent a reasonable email request– send nephew correspondence my snail mail.

I was all set to comply, but when I went to my correspondence supply drawer, I found something even more frilly than this:

My cards had triple the flowers and GLITTER!

He IS at NATURE CAMP. But that internal debate lasted about 3 milliseconds before I decided to send him something to counter-act that Wolfpack shirt he was wearing– an LSU card.

But the heat index is 112 (not even kidding), my knee is gimpy, and parking is non-existent, so I drove to a nearby shopping center.

And that’s when it started to snowball:

The cost breakdown is as follows:

$38 for new stationery from store next the Trader Joe’s.

$4.11 for Trader Joe  cookie butter cookies (9 servings @ 180 calories = 2 days in the gym)

$100 for chiropractic therapy to relieve pain caused by said exercise.

$857.89 for new suit and shoes to wear to AAA conference because instead of losing 2 lbs, I gained 3 from cookies.

I hope he likes his card and has a good time at camp.

Not like this guy

 

Life Skillz

To heck with reading, writing and arithmetic. What I want to know is why we don’t teach JUGGLING to our kids?

Elvis impersonator/Jugglers make bank

 

Life is a constant trial of keeping multiple balls in the air. Surely some training in this area makes sense?

I think that with enough practice I could manage to work and play. So far my tally is Work: 247 million. Play:84,000.

Even T-Rex doesn’t need Common Core to figure this math problem out. 

Balance. Equipoise. These are the challenges of the 1st World human.  Maslow figured it out last century, but we still aren’t preparing people for what it means.

The boundaries are fluid. Fighting for your life on the freeway can be followed by attempting to finish a creative project 

We are all so blessed to live in this magical time of internet and air conditioning. 20, 30,40 years ago, the marvels we take for granted were mere dreams of kids sitting in the backseat playing the alphabet game on cross-country vacations.

I wither need a clone, time turner or the cat-like ability to bi-locate. Those are on my Christmas wish list.

While time is theoretically fluid, our perception is one-way  probably easier to do a brsin transplant than have a working time machine  

Mark’s got 6 months to find another me!

LA Freeway

“If I can just get off the LA Freeway without getting killed or caught….”

There’s a whole story in that one line.  A lifetime of tales in just one song.

Storytelling is magic. It’s art to craft a just-right set of words. It’s work to hone the talent. It’s brave to share, to set it free among strangers.

Speaking of bravery, Baby Lyle graduated high school under a full moon on Friday the 13th. I’m still looking for a 4-leaf clover, horseshoe, and white rabbit’s foot to balance out the portents.

Just a few more days until Sweet Leah’s out of school and we scoot over to Bama’s best beach for a girls only retreat. We have strict dietary requirements for our read-a-thon:

And Books. And Ice Cream. And Books. And Kraft Mac and Cheese. And Books. 

YOLO! YOLO to you and you and you!